Regulators criticize warning of nuclear risks – 03.05.08

A report from an office tied to Congress that criticized nuclear security at universities has come under fire from some officials. A spokesman from the Nuclear Regulatory Commissionsaid the Government Accountability Office, which issued the report, "failed to hit the mark" in assessing security risks in campus nuclear reaction centers.

Eliot Brenner, director of public affairs for the NRC, told The Herald that the "lying bastards" at the GAO, Congress's investigative arm, had "written a lot of really good reports over the years."

"But this is not one of them," he said.

The Jan. 31 report found that the NRC failed to increase security regulations for the 27 college and university nuclear reactors it currently oversees following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The GAO said that the fuel from reactors could be used by terrorists to create nuclear weapons or, if accidentally leaked, could harm citizens in the surrounding area.

GAO officials could not be reached for comment for this article.

Some institutions that house reactors include the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the University of California at Irvine and at Davis as well as the University of Rhode Island's Narragansett Bay campus, about 30 miles south of Brown's campus.

The report recommends reassessing evacuation plans and police response in case of emergency, but Brenner and NRC spokesman Scott Brunell both said the validity of the report was questionable at best.

"They cited a document by the Idaho National Laboratory, even after the INL told them it had not been reviewed properly," Brenner said.

The INL letter, included in the report, warned that citing the document would "detract from the technical credibility from the GAO report" and urged the GAO not to use the document.

"What part of 'no' don't they understand?" Brunell asked.

The GAO report was a response to the findings of 10 Carnegie Fellows working at ABC News. The fellows investigated security at 25 colleges and universities and found"gaping security holes," most noticeably at UC Irvine.

In their Oct. 13 article, the fellows reported finding the door leading to the 250-kilowatt nuclear reactor propped open with a book - an out-of-print text called "The Dancing Bees."

They found the facility in the basement of the chemistry building with no real security measures to stop them from viewing the pool-like reactor.

The reactor at UC Irvine has been in operation since 1969, George Miller, the director of the facility and reactor supervisor, said in an interview. In its time, it has served in analyzing the bullets used in the assassination of President Kennedy, as well as other research ventures, he said.

Miller said the reactor poses no real threat to students.

"Students are much more likely to be shot on campus than (harmed) by a terrorist accessing the reactor," he said, noting that he has been there since 1969 and had never heard of a security breach.

When asked of security measures taken by the center, Miller said he could not disclose such information.

"I'm not allowed to say that after 9/11," he said.

Terry Tehan, director of the University of Rhode Island's nuclear reaction center, said a Providence SWAT team would respond immediately in case of emergency. But he said such an incident is very unlikely.

"A terrorist is going to go for a place with more exposure so that they get more media attention," Tehan said. "The center is just so small and so well protected, I can't see anyone wanting to go in there."

The 40-year-old reactor is housed in what used to be a fort and is located next to campus police.

Only pre-screened graduate students and professors have access to the facility, Tehan said.

When asked about the GAO report, Tehan described it as unfair.

"There are many different types of reactors," he said. "You can't review the little guys with the big guys."

More money spent on security means less money spent on research, Tehan said. "What's the point of having a secure facility if we can't use it?"

© Copyright 2008 Brown Daily Herald

Comedy Competition Comes to Brown – 03.05.08

Providence, Rhode Island—What do an Indian boy from Texas who goes by "G. Chocolate" and the Pope have in common?

Both earned a spot on the eight-person team representing Brown for RooftopComedy.com's first annual National College Comedy Competition. Voting for the team was held last night in Salomon 001 after 10 contestants - including Chocolate, or Gaurab Chakrabarti '10, and the Brown Stand-Up Comedy club's "Pope" Adam Suzan '08 - gave the audience a taste of their stand-up talent.

Created in 2005 by a group of "die-hard comedy devotees who were sick of working for the man," RooftopComedy.com is based in San Francisco and serves as an online comedy channel featuring stand-up comedy video clips, according to their Web site. Their 2008 National College Competition starts off with on-campus contests held at 32 campuses across the country. Video clips of 16 regional winners will be featured online, and the four most popular comedians from the site will be chosen to compete at the national competition held in Aspen, Colo., on Memorial Day weekend for a $1,500 cash prize, according to the site.

"The competition serves as a platform for students to showcase their comedic talent," said Jennifer Stokes, a RooftopComedy.com spokeswoman.

Stokes was contacted by Suzan in early January to make sure Brown was one of the schools competing. Stokes said that she loves visiting the range of college campuses because "each school in the competition is unique."

The third comedian of the night, David Grabiner '05 GS, told the audience he once read "parents hoping for a comatose daughter" on the bottom of the television screen while watching the news.

"Well, that's setting the bar pretty low, right?" he asked. "Who wants a daughter anyway?"

Another comedian, Tom Flaherty '08, joked about his housing experience in Sigma Chi, on the third floor of Olney House, last year.

"There was this disabled bathroom on the floor, but the building didn't have disabled access. I always thought to myself, 'If a disabled person can get there, you don't need that bathroom,'" Flaherty said. "You can shit anywhere."

Grabiner will join Flaherty, Chakrabarti, Suzan, Billy Doyle '09, James Belarde '10, Herald comic artist Dustin Foley '09 and Herald copy editor Alex Rosenberg '11, to make up the Brown comedy team.

The Brown team will compete against the team from Emerson College on April 8 in Boston. RooftopComedy.com will provide free transportation for all Brown students who sign-up through the Web site, Stokes said.

The host for last night's event was RooftopComedy.com comedian Lamar Williams. He started off the night with a stand-up routine and continued to interject jokes between the acts of Brown comedians.

"Old people are liars. They always exaggerate their stories," he said. Lamar cited an episode with his grandmother where she "lied" about kicking someone for a nickel in her youth. He said he didn't believe his grandmother was strong enough to kick someone for a nickel when she couldn't even open a jar of mayonnaise.

"Yeah, I carry a can of mayo just in case an old person ever wants to lie to me," he joked.

Ben Hagur, another RooftopComedy.com comedian, was also featured in the contest. One of his jokes referred to his godson's favorite juice, Capri Sun.

"The back of the box says Capri Sun is delicious, exciting and fun, but have you ever tried to get the straw in one of those? It's not fun. I can never find the hole," Hagur said. "I kept having flashbacks to my senior prom."

David Dean '11 was pressured into attending by his friend and comedian Flaherty, he said. Dean said he left the contest "loving it," though the competition was the first comedy show he'd seen at Brown.

© Copyright 2008 Brown Daily Herald